(Excerpt from my one and only journal entry dated 30.08.2011)
Quick, quick, I need a notebook. And I need it quick.. before the idea, quicksilverlike, slips from my head. No, I think its the enthusiasm though thats more quicksilverlike, difficult to hold on to. So yeah, I need a notebook BEFORE I lose track of this latest brainwave of mine and along with it, my newly found enthusiasm. Quickly.
I manage to lay my hands on Jos' old, half-used (half-empty?) Math notebook from Class 7. This will have to do. I have decided to write a journal and this will be my precious journal..where my thoughts will manifest into words, where I shall find the strength and the hope to stick with my project, and where I shall bury my face on the days the going gets too hard, for I know it shall be hard and I am not entirely sure I can do it. For I (tapping spoon on glass), have embarked on the highly ambitious (drum roll..) 'Bikini Project' ! 'Ambitious' seems like a good adjective. A worthy adjective for a worthy project, though a lot of other wannabe adjectives also come to mind. Like foolish, stupid, impossible, unnecessary, medically unsafe, violates-the-laws-of-physics, etc.
Of course I would've like a nice looking notebook for my journal instead of this tired looking excuse for one. In fact, when the whole idea of keeping a journal was still on the fringes of my thoughts, thats what the accompanying pic in my head looked like - a beautiful hard-bound notebook with smooth, creamy sheets smelling delightfully of fresh paper and faint perfume, with a whole page for the index, and the cover a lovely blue-green.. ..of the sky and the sea, and peacock feathers and butterflies, and memories. But then who keeps notebooks like these at home, lying around waiting patiently in a drawer for its day to come? Since my urgency in starting the journal was absolutely absolute, I settle for the Math notebook. Well, half a notebook, in any case. In fact, I think the purpose of this notebook was verily that. It was half-filled with struggles of my my li'l Jos and its blank pages were waiting for the struggles of her mom. Everything has a purpose, you know. And being witness to OUR struggles was this notebook's purpose of existence..a purpose I shall be glad to be of assistance to fulfill. Just as I hope it'll be able to help fulfill mine.
Well then, we have a notebook, a germ of an idea and a name for it. 'The Bikini Project'. Hmm..I like it. I think. The title, I definitely like. The project..well yes, that too. I think. Not sure if the idea is that great though. I mean, it seemed brilliant last night, when I'd hit upon the idea. 20 hours later it seems to have lost some of its brilliance. A lot, actually.
(To be cont..)